How to Kill Black Widows

how to kill black widows

Killing Black Widows

Black Widows are one of the most feared spiders out there.¬†They are¬†poisonous and well just plain creepy. You can recognize a Black Widow by the red hourglass on their bodies. I don’t like them. I deal with them quite frequently, I have an infestation in my garage and it is not fun. Not to be confused with the other kind of Black Widow, which is a woman who marries a man and kills him and does that on a frequent basis. If you need help with one of these Black Widows, contact me and we can work something out.

The best way to kill a Black Widow that happens to be in a close proximity to you is with a shoe. This can be accomplished by either stepping on it or by taking your shoe off and whacking it until you beat the life out of it. Shoes are a useful weapon, never underestimate the power of a shoe. I happen to keep a shoe in the garage because of the current infestation, this is the second “bug shoe” that I own. I tend not to like to use my own shoes, its gross getting the bug guts on them. I am quite fond of using a shoe of someone I don’t like or perhaps an old shoe that is no longer useful. I am also a fan of a broom for those hard to reach little bastards. You take the broom and knock them down and then use a shoe or just continuously whack them until they die. It is a very simple process. Unless you are stupid, then you may get bit and you may need to seek medical attention, idiot.

I hear that one good way to get a lot of them is to go around your house at night with a stick. Let me explain this a bit more. Black Widows are nocturnal animals and usually pop up when it is hot outside. Here is how you do it:

  • Get a flashlight and some sort of bug spray, I hear Ortho spray for Wasps works
  • You start at one point around your house, shine the flashlight and look for Black Widows and their webs, spray them and/or their webs
  • The spray will immobilize them, you then take the stick at beat them, or a shoe, never forget about the shoe
  • You do this around the perimeter of your house
  • See, very simple if you are not stupid

Creating a torch out a hair spray and lighter is another favorite of mine. It is also a very easy process to do. Take the hairspray in one hand, the lighter in the other, spray and light and then you will have a Black Widow on fire. It is also pretty cool to watch and do. What? Don’t judge me, I’m not a sick person. It isn’t like I would do this to a puppy or something. Its an evil Black Widow, if you have problems with this then maybe you’re the sick one. Just saying.

There are other methods to kill a Black Widow, if you are smart and/or creative you can think of ways to do it yourself. I’m not going to do all the damn work for you. I’m not your personal assistant. Again, if you need help with the other Black Widows, contact me and I’ll look into it for you.